What's Katie up to?

and what do you want to be when you grow up, dear?

2011-06-14T20:07:00.001-07:00

mama,
when I grow up
I wanna be an agent of cultural change.

2010-08-03T21:30:00.001-07:00

Lord, teach us to pray.

Remember Dave Powell

2009-12-16T11:27:00.000-08:00

Fear is pointless.
Fearing dogs can make some sense. They can bite you and hurt you.
But usually they won't.
But if they're going to, they will bite you whether or not you fear them.
Fearing airplanes can make sense. It can crash, and you might die.
But it probably won't.
But if it's going to, being afraid will do nothing for you.
Unless of course, you don't go on the plane.
But what is the point in life if all you're going to do is survive?
A favourite quote from the Irresistible Revolution:
"All through life you'll meet people who tiptoe through life, only to arrive at death safely.
But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip or dance, just don't tiptoe".
Dave Powell did not tiptoe. So much of the reason he has left such an impact on people is because he was in love with God, and consequently, in love with life.
He ran, he hopped, and he danced.
His final status update which has sort of turned into his last words was, "I want to run, jump and spread life in this world". And this he did in life, and is doing even now in death.
But he did not arrive at death safely.
He died instantly in a car accident. Fully alive one second, not at all the next.
His death throws into perspective for me the importance of living life each day.
His life, death and legacy are sitting right on the top of my mind as I decide how to spend each day.
I have a spare moment. I am going to visit my friend who I haven't seen in a long time. Or write a poem. Or walk in a forest and worship God. Not veg out and watch TV.
Can you imagine if I watched a couple episodes of Desperate Housewives and then died?
No. That can't happen.
Life. You live it once and you have no idea how long yours is. We assume we're going to get old, and we know it's technically possible to die early but we don't really comprehend it.
No one dies early. People die young, but not early. You die when you die and then your life is over and not before that. If you're life is short, it wasn't long and you got ripped off. It is short, and it was always going to be short. You don't know whether your life is long or short.
Dave had 22 years. That's how long his life was. We desperately wish it could have been a longer life, but it wasn't.
Dave was not aware that his life was 22 years long but he understood the urgency of living now.
God prepared him during his short life and opened his eyes to see the reality of life, that you can't wait to live your life. His reasoning was not that you might die young, but even more profound than that.
He told us that if you do make it to your old age, but you've waited until then to throw your life to God, you have but a shell of the life you could have had to offer to God.
You might have been such an impactful person. You could have moved mountains.
The funny thing about starting tomorrow is that tomorrow never comes. You never exist within tomorrow. You only exist within this very moment that you're in right now. That's all you have control over.
What are you doing with your moment?
We have an eternity to hang out after death. We have a very short amount of time on this earth.
But what we do matters.
What the hell are we doing, anyways?
For Christ's sake, why don't we just live for Him?!
Why do I care what people think of me when they look at me?
Why do I spend do much time on putting outfits together, or stalking people on Facebook, or just wandering around doing nothing with myself!

I am alive.

I am alive.

The majority of bodies on this earth can't say that!

I am alive and I am free.
Free politically, free spiritually, free in who I am...
I am free!

I will live like it, dammit.

Dave knew he was alive.
Beyond that. He understood.
And he loved God, and he understood how to appreciate life.

When I first added him on Facebook I stalked him a little bit, and looking at his profile, I saw that his status at the time said,"Do you ever get that feeling when you sing, that your body cant contain the exultation in life that you feel?...This whole week has been full those moments. Ugh.....to fly!!"
At this I commented to my housemates that "he seems like a grab-life-by-the-toes" kind of guy. For this, I was mercilessly mocked because apparently that's a metaphor that's mixed up and doesn't actually exist. But it made sense to me.
I envisioned life trying to get away from him as it so often does in Western society for all us soulless rich folks, and him screaming, "NO! YOU GET BACK HERE!" while launching himself, face first in the direction of fleeting life, and grabbing onto it, just as it was about to get away, barely grasping it by the toes and pulling it back towards him. Moment-by-moment.
A Grab Life by the Toes kind of guy. David Powell.
Be alive in absolute joy, Dave, as you revel in the presence of our Father.
Bless you, brother. Thank you for the inspiration and the challenge of living like you do.
Amen.

Lord be with the Powell family. Give them comfort, grace, peace and joy.
And give Dave a big hug for me. Amen.

At the Embassy we have a speakers corner booth where every week we ask a question and people answer, and it's shown in the service the next week.

Normally it's a silly question and the answers are usually silly and witty; it's an excuse for a laugh.

But one week in October the question was, "What are your words of Wisdom to the World".

This is Dave's answer. I suggest you listen carefully because this is a 22 year old boy who died suddenly last week, and he knew what he was talking about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQrwGk-nZaM

Ukraine's Got Talent

2009-12-15T10:46:00.000-08:00

Just watch this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1JZ9O15280

Freedom vs. Repression

2009-12-10T18:46:00.000-08:00

Owl City comes on.

We start nodding our heads to the beat.

I comment that we look like bobble heads.

Gloria says, “We’re white, so that’s how we dance!”

then Gloria comments, "I would love to live in another culture for a couple of years and just get absorbed in the freedom".

We’re politically free but culturally repressed.

Geez magazine quote of the week: The more repressed the culture, the sillier the humour.

Bobble heads much?

Highlights of my week

2009-11-29T19:41:00.001-08:00

I had a couple of highlights to my week this week and I thought I'd share them with you.
On Thursday a couple of girls from the forum stayed afterwards and got into a conversation.
We discussed men, what it means to live as a woman in today's society, (especially within Christian culture), marriage, past relationships, and how our faith backgrounds affected our views on everything. It was very interesting and I loved getting to know them better. We voiced some uncomfortable questions and wrestled with some daring questions. These are some of my favourite moments in life. Random questions popping up and happening to find people who are struggling along with you. I love the push that many people in the church are starting to making these days for an open atmosphere where it's safe to ask questions and questions don't mean that you're loosing touch with anything; rather that you're grasping and pulling and fighting to get closer to understanding something. That is far more productive and growth-inspiring than sitting stagnant in your faith.
On Friday Becula and I went to the SLC to see a couple of our friends sing in an A Capella group, and not only was the singing fabulous, but there was free cheese and shakes there!
It was awesome! We had a blast. Thanks for making me go, Becula.
On Saturday, Gloria and I made up a language/secret code in which you can't use voice, and we sat on the couch and grunted at each other for about 20 minutes, then we make a video to document it so that we won't forget this cutting edge language development. Then later we were going to make apple turnover's so we went to the St. Jacob's market to purchase the apples and walnuts. It was so lovely. I love the market! I love the bustling atmosphere of local farmers and Mennonite culture with all the cute things to look at, not to mention the fresh orange juice and the apple fritters! I think I'm going to try to get out there as often as I can get out there to write. I love love love the atmosphere!
Saturday night was The View from Here at the Branches. It was my first time going and Elysha was a featured artist! Proud moment! Tear! She had her photography up and she read some of her poetry and she did a wonderful job. They had a couple of different musicians, one of which sounded like a more down to earth combo of John Mayer and Jason Mraz. It was fantastic. They're based out of Guelph; the band name is Wooden Chiefs, but they don't have a CD so they'll just have to live on in my memory. They are apparently an acoustic version of their other band, What She Said. I'll have to check them out.
Hmm. Sunday I hung out with my family and helped run a LifeChange Adventures DVD release party/ fundraisor for the Onzole River Community in Ecuador. It was amazing. They really did a fantastic job organizing and running it and they raised over $3000.00!
So yes. Fabulous week. Now it's finally time to do my homework...

Kathleen's question

2009-11-29T00:21:00.000-08:00

Kathleen asked me an interesting question today.
She asked what my three favourite things are, beyond God, family and friends.

I never thought about that before. Verbs, nouns... anything.
I basically tried to mentally take myself back to the last time I felt extreme satisfaction or joy, then place the memory.
It's such an interesting question. You get to reflect back to your past joys and realize the most beautiful things to you. I think it was a good question because it makes you think about the things in your life that you can go back to when you're drained or restless or stressed.
The three I came up with on the spot (I may give this more thought later), were:
1) Travel. Cultures, landscapes, historical stuff, people people PEOPLE!
2) Successful creative endeavors. (Inspiration--> followthrough--> a good and lovely result)
3) Good conversation. (Usually something I've been thinking about or struggling with and building up a store of question about, and then just explicating it all with someone I know and love and trust, or even just with someone who understands the questions.)
Feels good!
Try and answer the question for yourself? 3 favourite things aside from the obvious stock answers like religion, family, friends or... I was going to say shopping, but I think that if that's on your top 3 list then that's something you should know about yourself. And think very very carefully about it...
I'll post again if I think of some better ones.

I know this is my 3rd post today but I have a lot of catching up to do from the past year so.... so be it.

2009-11-25T23:53:00.000-08:00

One last thing, we had a pizza dinner with coconut cream pie for supper at Janelle, Adam and Darren's house today. It was lovely. Their house has beautiful art and a kind cat.
Also, they are very nice people. I like them.

Fireflies

2009-11-25T23:43:00.000-08:00

Gloria, Becula and I listened to this song about 40 times today.
Becula and Gloria like taking good songs and wearing them out by playing them over and over until they are permanently emblazoned into your subcontious, never to be removed from the back of your mind, and until the song is completely old. Personal preference.
I prefer to listen to a variety of songs throughout the day to keep them fresh.

Today was different.

From various sources, Becula and Gloria found this song called "Fireflies" by Owl City.

It's adorable. There is a guy in it who pushes a magic button, and wonder ensues.

We decided, after about the 30th time playing it, that possible the reason we like it so much is because it has a happy magical sound to it, but it also has this subtle underlying quality of sadness.
It reminds me of those times in life where you're just so happy that you're a little bit sad because you know that it can't stay this way.
Like Kristen Kahle's Christmas parties in high school.
In grade 12, at that Christmas party I looked around at the young and irrepressible leaders of tomorrow, singing at a piano and making up stories... sledding down hills of ice and engaging in crazy snowball fights... and I knew that this was the last time that all of these amazing people with whom I had had so much joy throughout high school would be in the same room together.

It was like this song.

Greek peeps

2009-11-25T22:31:00.001-08:00

So I was just reading Oedipus for class, and I realized something incredible.

*Ahem*

Famous Ancient Greek Philosophers:

Socrates & Aristotle

Famous Ancient Greek Playwrights:

Sophocles & Aristophanes

WEIRD!

ps. These names are so similar that when I originally posted them, I got Aristotle and Aristophanes mixed up, and it wasn't until Becula pointed it out that I noticed and was able to fix it!
See?? Told you!

9:48

2009-11-11T19:11:00.000-08:00

Gloria and I were just sitting in a very full number 9 bus on the way home from Gloria and Becula's conflict resolution course. When suddenly, with a flash of light and a swirl of colour, the dimention of time was radically shifted into a different reality.
Sitting next to Gloria, I looked at my phone. "9:48," quoth I. I put my phone away and immediately took it back out again, expecting to see that time had progressed to 9:49. I was taken slightly aback when I saw the time. I showed my phone to Gloria again. "Still 9:48".
Gloria gasped, eyes wide, mouth open. "What if it's always 9:48?!"
Here's the revelation that ensued:
-You're right! It might be 9:48 forever!
-Good thing we're not in class! That could get boring.
-I agree. Being on a bus at 9:48 forever is a pretty good option for a place to be at 9:48 forever. There are lots of interesting people on the bus, we could spend forever at 9:48 getting to know them.
-I don't know, I might have to go to the washroom at one point during all of this.
-No, because if at 9:48 you don't have to go to the washroom, you'll never progress to having to go the washroom further because your having to go to of the washroom would occur gradually from 9:49 to 9:50 and so on.
-But I'm a little bit hungry.
-But you won't be any more hungry than you are at present at 9:48 later than now.
-You're right! And with a whole eternity of 9:48 spent on this bus, I'll bet we can make some pretty significant relationships, enough so that probably there will be someone on this bus with food who would be willing to share with me.
-Yes, I can well imagine people becoming quite comfortable and generous with each other after spending forever sitting with them at 9:48.
-I wonder if there are any Christians on this bus.
-Yah, we could get married if there's a Christian boy or two on the bus. We have forever to develop the relationship anyways.
-I don't think so though. Because you could only ever have as much of a relationship with him as you could develop in a minute.
-How deep could a relationship get within the span of a minute?
-You would have to grab the person and shout, "TELL ME YOUR INNERMOST SECRETS!" Maybe if you scared them enough it would actually work.
-It would certainly help speed things up a bit.
-Yah, he would only have about 45 seconds to pursue and woo me. I could deal with that!
-Whoa. There would be no consequences of your actions either!
-Wait, no, all actions have consequences. And we are able to do actions at 9:48 so there must be consequences then too.
-So there wouldn't be any long term consequences, anyways.
-The only consequences you can experience are the consequences that can be experience within a minute.
-Right, so you actually can't get married, it's too long a process. But you could just grab a guy and kiss him!
-Oh my! So every moment you live has to be lived right then and there because there is nothing beyond 9:48. I rather like living life at 9:48. I hope it's 9:48 forever!
-So will this bus ever stop driving do you think?
-I don't think so, the bus is driving at 9:48, so because it continues to be 9:48 the bus continues to drive.i
And so on and so forth. I can't let you in on all the other-worldy secrets of this new dimension, it's too bizarre and earth-shattering. You'll need to discover this magcal dimension by yourself. So next time it's 9:48... pay attention, you never know if you'll be transported away...

Elysha

2009-06-10T09:29:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago my wonderful friend Elysha showed me a short blurb that she had written about me. It was such a beautiful blurb and so wonderful to read it that I decided to blurb back.

Elysha
I was so happy to see the flowy red dress gliding across the parking lot. (The red dress had pockets.) It was the dress of such a beautiful, loving heart.
What has always stricken me about Elysha is her ability to love every single person that she meets, no matter who they are or how unlovable they may seem.
I've always seen Elysha to be the sort of person who would daringly choose to stand in a field full of wind and daisies and listen to the tall grass rustle it's song over the silly choices that are supposed to make us happy in life.
I like that. Elysha's soul is a gust of wind and Elysha is a red pocket dress. Beautiful and deep and useful for keeping all my soul's secrets in.
I think that tea brings out the best in our conversations.
Bold, hot and flavourful in a homey happy face mug, Elysha teaches me me to leave the teabag in. I watch her smile at people I wouldn't normally smile at and love people I wouldn't normally love, and in that gesture, she teaches me something. Suddenly I want a red dress.
Throughout the years our innocence and protection has been our bond.
And now, suddenly, both her and I discover that to step beyond our boundries is to live a little. Taking our hands out of our pockets and putting our teacups down for a bit, we now begin to look around, stretch our legs, ready to maybe-- just maybe... take a risk? Do something perhaps a little bit uncivilized.
And yes. We are scared.
And yes.

Jon Foreman creates smiles for me

2009-06-09T07:52:00.000-07:00

So I was listening to some Switchfoot via youtube the other day and I stumbled upon this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJrAUIK5QmM
I was so impressed with this video, I don't know why but I found it amazing. The video is from after a concert that they played in Toronto and some fans went around and caught the band outside their tourbus and asked them to play a song on some random guy's Zellers brand guitar. And Jon Foreman (lead singer of Switchfoot) takes the guitar and plays their song Twenty Four and the audience sings along. It's such a beautiful, raw moment of passion from every person there. Jon is showing that he really cares about his music and the people who listen to it. I've always been a little bit bothered by singers and 'musicians' who call themselves artists but are really just performers... they don't really believe in their lyrics. It's fine but it's after the show in the parking lot when shoved a Zellers guitar buy a group of fans who shouldn't really be there anyways with every excuse to just leave when you see a musicians heart. So when Jon starts singing "I'm not copping out..." near the end of the song, I can really believe it.
Beautiful.
I hope this is what heaven is like.

Why hello again!

2009-06-08T11:32:00.000-07:00

So. I've decided to continue with this. I think I want to share some random thoughts sometime. I have been home from Europe for a while now, have went and came back to Onzole, Ecuador, and am prepping myself for school in the fall where I will learn about a smattering of various subjects of interest to me and also move into a townhouse with Becula, Becula's roommate from this year, Emily and also one other person who is a mystery to us all right now. I think I stopped blogging before because I have no idea how to be succinct and didn't want to have to sit down for an hour and write out my thoughts on things because it would take so much time, and also because I don't always know what I think about things when I first experience them.
So here it is: A short blog, officially reopening this bloggness to myself. I don't know what my plans are here, perhaps this will be the only blog for a couple of months. If that does happen, I promise to be thoroughly embarrassed and apologetic.

Katie

The people! You gotta love the people!

2008-09-18T07:51:00.001-07:00

So you’ve all heard the deep and intimate things that God has been teaching me and the cool ways that He’s been guiding me and coming through for me in the last couple of weeks, who wants to know what I’ve actually been doing? One thing that I absolutely adore about travelling is the people I meet! I’ll tell you some little stories of what’s been going on for the last little while.
Yesterday I went to Camden Town market, (Camden is like the ‘alternative culture’ centre of London where all the punks, the Goths, and the hippies hang out), with a girl I met from my norm named Mariama. Mariama is a Brazilian punk rocker anarchist from Germany. She has a fascinating story! She was raised in a very politically minded family and was a strong activist for the German anti-fascist group. She has been arrested many times while demonstrating, and is in London applying for art college. When I hear anarchist there are many associations that immediately come to my mind, and she told me that she had been in trouble with the police before she told me what for. But as I listened more to her story, what struck me most about this purple haired, massively pierced, tattooed punk was that even though by looking at her she appears to be a rebellious and troubled kind of youth, she actually has more integrity and passion for her causes than many crew cut, suit and tied, so called “respectable” that I’ve met. Although her desire for anarchy is misguided, the idea described to me was a perfect society where there was no need for government because people lived in close communities and took care of each other. Her anarchism rose from a desire for a beautifully utopic society of inbuilt checks and balances that arise from relationships within the community. Granted, her system would never work because of human nature, but it sort of shifted my notions of anarchist of just people who want to do whatever they want and think the world should butt out. But it reminded me of the part in the book of Acts in the Bible where Paul describes the early Christian community where people sold their possessions to meet each others’ needs, they shared their stuff and had everything in common. That worked because they were responsible to a higher Power, I told her. But it was neat to be able to show her, and have her agree that the ideal Christian community is almost like the anarchy she desires, give or take God.
Another person that I enjoyed talking to was this Jamaican looking dudes with mini dreads all over his head. I passed by him on the streets in Oxford and he was trying to sell me a magazine to help the homeless. I asked him with which organization he was working and eventually learned that basically there was a program where this place provides free magazines for the homeless to sell, and they use the money to stay at a shelter (not a free one) and buy food. I felt kind of bad because at first he didn’t want to admit that he was homeless, but once he explained it to me I was very impressed with the program. It was much better than begging. I gave him some money but didn’t take a magazine. But what I really enjoyed was the look in his eyes that he had from just being spoken to. Everyone would just walk by him and completely ignore him, which is understandable because they had places to go, but I didn’t so I just stood and talked to him for a bit. I told him I liked his hair and we talked all about dreadlocks and how to do them and all this stuff, and by the time I left he was just beaming with what I expect was just self value. Seriously. After that I made sure to look into the eyes of every homeless person that tried to talk to me. If they are selling something or asking for money, I don’t always give them money, but I do look them in the eyes and smile and say, “No thanks!” or “Sorry I don’t have any money.” And I think it must just feel really good to them because everyone just ignores them and they must just feel forgotten or valueless. But they’re people who God created and he was so excited to make them so wonderfully, but they’ve had some trouble and that doesn’t mean they’re worthless! I hope they realize that. Anyways, yes.
Then there were the Mozambique and Turkey PhD students eager to teach me all they knew, and the French linguistics man that I mentioned a couple of posts ago.
And we mustn’t forget my wonderful hosts on the YWAM base in Harpenden!
I can’t even put a dent into describing the wonderful time I had there, I appreciated every moment of it! My friend Nadine knows a couple who lives just outside of London, and they let me stay with them in their house for a week! I got my own room, real food, (free food!) a family life, friendship and security for a whole week! Believe me, when you’re living in a hostel and every night is a hole in your pocket, and you’re constantly staying in a dorm full of 10+ strangers, male and female, having to lock all of your stuff up every time you leave the room, or unlock stuff any time you want at any of your possessions, no privacy, a constant turnover in roommates, the simple necessities being lovingly provided for me by near strangers, (well, strangers on the first day anyways) was such a blessing, I am so grateful! They have two beautiful kids who were a joy to be around and we just had a lovely time! We had a Step Up marathon with a bunch of girls I had met on the base, we went on a trek to St Albans and saw a cathedral, a big market, a lovely park and the oldest pub in the world! I’m eternally grateful to these beautiful people. I received all this at a time when I was just starting to feel very lonely and longing for some semblance of family or security. (The day before she had offered for me to stay with them I had just finished a picnic in Hyde Park and was wandering back to my hostel thinking to myself, “Gosh, I would be so happy if I could just be in a home right now. Anyone’s home. Just some home where I can sit on the living room floor and just be!” God bless them!
Yes, and I meet tonnes of fascinating people every day, that’s not even the half of them.
Anyways I am going to go to the supermarket and buy some fruits and veggies right now, I haven’t done that in far too long.
Love!
Katie

Learning to pray... pray until you know how... Prayer lessons?

2008-09-18T07:51:00.000-07:00

At the personalities of prayer seminar I heard some very wonderful thoughts on personalizing your prayer life. The idea is that you don’t have to just sit and speak to God while bent on your knees in front of your bed every night at eight o’clock. Although that is they way some like to pray, and that’s perfect for them, some of us will just die by trying to use that method. The idea is that there are many ways of connecting to God, and each person is different in the way that they do it. So you have to know your “prayer personality” and that is how you can get your most effective prayer times. But, there are certain disciplines that you also must do to create consistency in your prayer life.
The woman doing the seminar described it like this: think of an eagle. Apparently the way that an eagle flies is that it jumps onto a thermal updraft and just soars on it. The hot air lifts it to it’s heights, and but when the updraft is done, the eagle has to flap it’s wings to get to the next updraft. So we have two very important aspects of prayer: experiencing God in the way you best experience Him, and thus getting your spiritual updraft to lift you and give you new heights or ideas or vision, but you can’t just sit and enjoy it, you have to do some work too. If the eagle just tried to sit on the updraft forever the updraft will eventually dissipate and the eagle will come crashing to the ground. So you employ Spiritual disciplines, or habits, or just ways of learning from God that are not your strength and you create a rhythm of prayer; you create habits in your life that involve God.
So basically you have to learn what connects you to God, and then learn what you find difficult, then do it. It will take you forward.
If you want more information on any of these just email me or leave a comment or something, but I’m going to just give a quick overview of the 4 prayer strengths that you could have.
You feel most connected to God by…
Float and soak: contemplative, imaginative, just sit and be, allow yourself and God to just be together, just be quiet with God and let your thoughts flow.
Fun and Freedom: experiencing as much as you can, conversation and adrenaline, intensity, charismatic, wanting to come away with something every time. Need to be engaged. So pray after a coffee with a friend, or reading something, or take God on a picnic in the park or dance or build something or anything!
Rhythm and Routine: Likes a structured prayer time, same order each day with a beginning, middle and an end, will have the most consistant spiritual life.
Technition: Thinkers and inventors, analysing and discussing things, prayer is best accessed by getting grips on something, thinking about a theme. (Ask questions: Love: How do I love? Who do I love? With what help do I love?, etc.) These people are good in a crisis because they understand how prayer works and can coordinate prayers to get things done.
Then come the disciplines. You find it more difficult, and so must discipline yourself to:
Float and soak: praying with other people, reading the Bible, praying for other people, etc.
Fun and Freedom: reading the Bible, stillness, working through a prayer list, etc.
Rhythm and routine: sitting in stillness, go for a walk and engage yourself, break routine, pray with people.
Technician: (I didn’t write this one down but my guess would be) Creating a rhythmic prayer routine, praying with other people, sitting in stillness, etc.
So it was an hour long seminar and I didn’t do it justice at all, but I know that having an effective prayer life is a big problem for lots of Christians, so I thought that I would throw this out there. If you want more info anywhere just let me know.
So practically, myself for example would be a fun and freedom prayer. At the conference on the weekend, my two most intimate moments with God were alone in the prayer room, talking aloud with God, allowing myself to just express myself the way I needed to, crying or shouting or laughing or whatever I needed, and the other was when the Triibe drum band came out and displayed their creative prayer where they would pray by drumming to God, and shouting out their prayers. That’s how they expressed themselves, and they invited us to pray with them to the drums. It was very powerful. Verrrry powerful. But I realized while I was in the prayer room that I can only pray to drums every so often. I need routine to create consistency in my prayer life. So I’ve been getting up in the mornings and praying for half an hour. It’s a little annoying being in a hostel dorm with 14 beds because I can’t find any privacy to cry out to God the way I like to, out loud, but I journal and I worship in the shower, and when the room is empty I dance, and I read my Bible and whatever I can do. Then at noon I say the Lord’s prayer, (just as a fun practice), but I think about what I’m saying. At night as I drift off to sleep I just go over the day’s events in my mind and bring them to God. And I just always feel so much more connected to God then I normally do! It’s pretty incredible.
Yesterday I went for a walk through the backstreets of London and I brought my mp3 player with me and God just moved me to dance for Him. I never really dance unless it’s for God and definitely never in public but I just felt like worshipping God through dance so I skipped and danced through the streets of London, just not caring until I got hopelessly lost! It was so beautifully fun! It’s something I used to do more when I was younger but I kind of stopped as I started caring more what people think of me. I was able to shake that off a bit last night. It was great! And it was such a beautiful connection to the Saviour. It was a prayer through dance. I am learning that prayer is so much more than sitting and monologing at God. It’s a personal thing that You can do your way and I can do my way as long as we’re connecting to God! Yay! (I got unlost though by asking people directions to get back to the station near my hostel. Worry not.)
So there’s another little snippit into what I’m learning here in England. I came here mostly because I wanted to discover God for myself without interferance from the expectations of other people, and God’s surprising me and taking me for a ride. I really wanted to sing, to dance and to cry yesterday. I couldn’t find the privacy I needed so I was only able to dance, but I was glad to be able to know, at least, what would have really connected me to God. Next week in the prayer room in Reading I am very excited to be able to get that.

Receiving direction. And passion is cool!

2008-09-16T09:55:00.001-07:00

Hello my fellow friends, family and people! After a powerful and challenging weekend at the 24/7 prayer international gathering I am now back in London, chilling out for the week. I’m sitting in a Laundromat right now, finally giving my clothes a good wash.
This past weekend was incredible! I met tonnes of absolutely incredible people, (that’s incredible as in, “wow! You’re quite the person!”) I beheld more passion than maybe I’ve seen in my life, I had God speak to me and teach me some things I really needed to know, I challenged myself for change, I learned a lot, I made friends, I had a decent breakfast that didn’t just consist of toast and jam! (believe me, that’s actually quite something), I experienced some of the most powerful worship times that I have ever seen, I prayed to drums, I prayed for hours, I heard stories of absolute miracles, I saw sacrificial people who have given up their lives and lived solely on faith for subsistence, I met people I’ve read about, I met people from all over the world, from 22 different countries, I encountered people with vision, people who live their lives taking risks, people who make things happen, I saw people exclaiming prophetically what are God’s intentions for our generation! I heard stories of difficult and drawn out prayers powerfully answered against all odds! This weekend was incredible! All of that is not even the half of it.
In case anyone doesn’t know, 24/7 prayer is a huge movement of the Holy Spirit that is exploding across the world right now. It all began with a man named Pete Greig having a vision of armies of faceless young people covering the map, waiting for instructions. An army that God was going to rise up within the next couple of years. Long story short is that God gave Pete an idea to try an experiment in his church in the south of England: running a prayer room that prays for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So he had some creative people in his church decorate a room in their church to be sort of creative and conducive to creative prayer, with bean bag chairs, paper and pens, places to write on the walls, maps to pray for the nations, music, dancing, and all sorts of cool stuff. Then he made a time sheet where people would sign up for one hour shifts of prayer in the room, every hour of the day, even in the wee hours of the morning. Another long story short was that the room became a place where God just dwelt, and when people entered it, they could feel God’s presence and they would just have these incredibly powerful prayer times! And everyone just loved it! They would go in very intimidated at the thought of having to pray for an hour and came out saying it wasn’t nearly enough! And what was supposed to be a week of non-stop prayer turned into a month of non-stop prayer. People came from all over England to pray there. Eventually people started opening prayer rooms in their own churches. People were saved, or spiritually renewed, and a passion for God just exploded wherever these prayer rooms existed! Now, only like 8 years later there are thousands of prayer rooms all over the world in more than 80 countries, and lives are being changed!
Anyways, that’s 24/7 prayer. When I read the story of it, (a book called Red Moon Rising, highly recommended) I really felt a connection to the movement and wanted to be a part of it. So I went to this weekend, and it was just amazing. I’ve never seen such genuine and humble love for Christ! So I really wanted to try a prayer room out. But although prayer rooms are always open 24/7, when they do a week or month (or year sometimes) of prayer is a special event. I didn’t know how to find one.
At the end of the weekend, they had just ended the conference and everyone was about to leave, and I was talking to God saying, “Well, I would love to be part of this, if you’ll let me! But I don’t have any direction or anywhere to go so I guess I’ll just do something else. If You want me to continue in 24/7 prayer You’ll have to give me an in, I can’t find a place to go.” I was sort of wishing someone would come up to me and offer me accommodation for the week, but I doubted it.
As I was just about to book my hostel for this week in the lounge (where there was free wifi), a woman named Lisa who knows a friend of mine came up to me and randomly introduced me to the leader of a prayer community in Reading, who just so happened to be doing a week of prayer next week! I told him that I didn’t have any sort of plan or direction at all at present, and he offered for me to come to the week of prayer next week, and that they could even find someone to put me up for the week! Praise God! So that’s what I’m doing next week. I’m chilling out in London right now, relaxing, doing laundry, getting organized, reflecting on all that I saw and experienced last weekend, praying and stuff… then on Friday I’ll take a coach down to Reading and experience this movement for myself! That is how awesomely God works! I asked for accommodation and a prayer room to experience Him in, and just as I was thinking that He said no by not providing anything, Lisa just walks up and introduces me to this guy! Praise God, I am very excited to see all that’s in store!
There is a poem that was written about the people that God brings to this movement… His army. It’s totally inspired, it was written in a prayer room at 3am near the beginning of the movement and it’s become very important to all who are involved in 24/7. It’s called The Vision, and I’ll post it so you guys can all get a taste of what all this is all about.
Also, I went to a seminar by this incredible woman who spoke about how to establish a rhythm of prayer in your life so that you can maintain a consistent relationship with God and it was so comprehensive, so I’ll post my notes from that too because it really helped me and I think that it might just be beneficial to some of you who struggle with finding time to pray consistently, like I do.
Okay that’s it I love you and miss you all very much!

2008-09-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

(Originally written on Saturday the 13th at like 12am London time. So actually Sunday.)
One thing that has really struck me as I have been traversing Europe, looking for God is how much my thinking is completely backwards from where it needs to be in order for God to really use me to the full extent that He intends to. Every mindset of the average Western or Westernized Canadian is just plain backwards from where it needs to be, even in areas I never even considered before! I always considered myself to have a pretty radical view of the world according to our culture, and I am being challenged by God on levels that I’ve never even thought about before.
It’s pretty funny because as I felt God calling me to Europe and the 24/7 prayer movement, and all other people, events and ideas that He has been leading me to, I thought that I was pretty much about to receive my calling. I was half expecting a booming voice from heaven saying to me, “Katie! I have created you for THIS purpose! Go forth and _______!” I expected to grow in my relationship with God and find powerful meaning in that relationship. Most of all I expected that God would help me discover and recreate myself, who I am and direct me towards some major purpose. I thought that humility was a state of mind that one must always be careful to maintain, and that honestly, God is pretty lucky that I chose Him to be the centre of my life.
HAAAAAA!!!
I am going to share with you the two lessons that God is teaching me right now. As I type, God is in the process of completely remodelling my mindset so that I might be a truly useful asset to his purpose, just like I wanted, but completely different than I thought I would get.
The purpose of my life is to exalt God. My relationship with God should not be about trying to find the calling that is upon my life. Neither is my relationship with God about trying to make the most of me, or my doing important things in the name of God. As much as these things will come as a result of my relationship with God, the truth of the matter of where my focus should be is that the story of the universe belongs to God and what God is doing. God has a master plan for the universe, and he wants to include every one of us, his beloved creations in His master plan to save the universe from sin and death. That includes me! Are you getting this?! GOD! GOD! The eternal entity who created the universe, and every complex microorganism in it, and every thought process, every personality, every complex compilation of incredible scientific mumbo jumbo that I could never begin to understand is executing a plan to save everybody who will say yes to Him! And He chose me to help out! And he chose you to help out! We are SO lucky! We are the most privileged… I can’t even express myself! Especially not on a blog, but I am just so happy that God is the way He is! He’s perfect! And his grace is so incredible that He sees a conceited wretch like me, bold enough to think that I really matter to His plan, and that He really couldn’t get along without me, and instead of getting indignant and saying, “Be amazed, little weakling. You have nothing to offer the Creator of All things!” (which is the reality… everything I could offer Him, He’s given to me), He instead gently nudges me towards the correct way of thinking and says, “Katie, my dear Katie. Thanks for your zeal but you really just need to change your thinking before I can use you. But even though you don’t really have anything to offer me in exchange for the incredible gifts that lie ahead for you, I still want you.”
Get it? That’s lesson number two! God doesn’t need me at all! But He wants me! And it’s because He wants me that I am saved, and it’s because He wants me that I am going to be able to do great things for Him, once He has fully straightened me out.
You know, it’s pretty amazing experiencing all of this stuff that God has to offer me here while I’m on my own. I have really had the chance to go where God asked me to go, and to look critically at the way I view life and faith and everything.
I was feeling frustrated today while I was in the prayer room, asking God for guidance. I was asking Him why our relationship wasn’t where I’d like it to be at when I was so willing to do anything for Him. (it’s so not about doing things, by the way. That was pretty off the mark.) I asked Him some tough questions. I asked Him to point out what on earth I was doing wrong to make my prayer life so stuffy. As I meditated on it for about an hour in the prayer room God revealed it to me just by guiding my thoughts.
“Katie! You have no rhythm of prayer in your life! You have no discipline in your spirituality! You have absolutely no habits involving me!” He challenged.
Of course, it’s always the simple stuff, right? Oh yah, of course! A consistant prayer life! That would make a difference, wouldn’t it?
I realized that as God has lifted me from the regular structure that the world has set up for me, and thrown me into something that is more my style, (that is, the style He created me for), I had allowed myself to be lifted completely from all sorts of structure at all! When I talk to God, it’s here and there and whatever, but I don’t have a time of the day, every day when I just sit and centre in on God. So how was I expecting to have a powerful relationship with Him? I don’t know, I was crazy. But praise God, He has shown me what I was doing wrong, (and I had actually been asking that for a very long time, not just this weekend. Think longterm questioning here.)
So here’s what I am going to do. At first I thought I would just jump right into it and wake up each morning an hour early and have my prayer time then, but something else that God has been teaching me throughout the past year or so is that is that I can’t just jump into things full force, even if they’re right. Baby steps in everything ensure longterm consistency much more than just throwing myself at something and burning our just as quickly. So what I am going to do is start waking up 30 minutes early in the morning. I can do 30 minutes, I know I can. (If I fail at the I’ll reduce to 15 then expand.) During that 30 minutes I will leave my bedroom so that I don’t climb back in bed. Then I will pray and talk to God and listen to Him and cry out to Him whatever’s on my mind. And if I am feeling the love and really enjoying my time with God there I can start waking up earlier and earlier. But for now I’ll start small since I’m just learning. And with that rhythm of prayer in my life every day, God and I will start to know each other better, and only then can I achieve intimacy with Him and then appreciate my privilage to serve Him.
Praise God, He is incredible, guys. Even you guys who don’t believe in Him, start thinking about Him, or else I have absolutely lost it. I haven’t lost it guys, I’m giving my life to God. If that requires my losing ½ and hour of sleep at night, so be it. Come ON God, use me! I want you too!
(later add on: I also was presented with the idea of setting my watch to go off at 12noon, and when it goes off, say the Lord's Prayer, everyday. It's been fun actually! Rhythmic...)

More photos!

2008-09-10T11:43:00.001-07:00

Me with the Globe Theatre!

The Globe Theatre!!! Yay!!!

(Wrong order) But as I was walking to the Globe I accidentally crossed the London bridge! Hooray!

Pretty London + Tower bridge= Nice view! Yay, I feel good!

Oxford!

2008-09-07T12:04:00.000-07:00

Hello, folks!

It's Katie Burjoski of Canada, daughter of Joe and Carolyn, also of the Burjoski clan.

I have just spend the last four days in Oxford, England. I have had the most marvelous experience, and I thought I might tell you about it.

Central Oxford is a very nice place because pretty much everything you could ever want to get to is within walking distance of the next thing you might want to get to. So I've been wandering around town, finding things to do, people to meet, and just trying to get adjusted to life on my own.

My Oxford experience has been the most polarizing experience that I have ever experienced!

I've experienced the depths of sadness and lonliness, moreso than I've ever experienced, and I've also seen myself the most confident and social than I've ever seen myself. I have felt an extreme sense of purpose and direction, had epiphanies and revelations, and also I've felt completely useless and wondered why I am even in Europe!

I've learned a lot about God and myself and my role in God's world, and God's role as my world. Basically, Oxford is intense.

Almost all of the good experiences that I've had over here were because of people. In hostels you meet all sorts of interesting people. Especially in Oxford where there is a world renouned University! I guess France's Linguistic Committee was having a conference in Oxford this week, (why Frances Language club meets in England is beyond both him and me) and I met one of the people who is on it. He is from France but is now living in Cyprus, but remains on the language committee. He was interesting to speak to, but not as interesting as the man from Mozambique who was a phD student studying African politics who took hours out of his evening to explain to me the entire conflict in South Africa, Mozambique and Zimbabwe. He got to practice his english and I got a private tutor for an evening, earning me a whole new repitoir of knowledge!

But the best time that I had while in Oxford was on Sunday. Saturday evening I thought that I might look to see if there are any churches in Oxford that I might be interested in. I googled "churches in Oxford" and the first one to pop up was within walking distance from my hostel. So on Sunday morning I walked down to this church and it was incredible! The sense of community was so strong that it felt like a big family! The worship was fun and very alive, the message was great, and afterwards they had free refreshments! Since it seemed like such a loving place I sensed that the people would be friendly enough to befriend me if I stuck around. So I drank some juice and ate some cookies and eventually one of the young adults came over and talked to me! And as we were talking his friends would come over and say hi, and eventually I had met and chatted with basically every young adult in the church! Apparently every week after church they go out for lunch with one another, and invited me along! So I we went to a pub and had some roast chicken, potatoes and yorkshire pudding! It was amazing, and I felt like I had been friends with these guys forever! They got my facebook and so if I'm ever back in Oxford we can all be friends!
That's all for now. I'll tell you more later. I am about to join some people in a "Step Up" marathon. We have a brick of chocolate! It's great!!!
I love everybody!
Katie

Some more pictures!!!

2008-09-06T14:10:00.001-07:00

These guys were walking there (beside Parliment), having THE most pompous, HILARIOUSLY upity debate about some theories or something, (for all my eavesdropping I never picked up the subject). I laughed out loud, and then started following them around (and almost got lost). The debate sounded like a Monty Python satire about rich pompous Brits.)

Happened upon this fairy tale scene...

Winston Churchill's war room!

Someone during WW2 in Churchill's wartime cabinet drew a Hitler graffiti on one of the giant plenary maps.

Me+Churchills bunker= Love

Some Pictures

2008-09-06T13:54:00.000-07:00

I was taking the tube to somewhere when I realized that I was going by Baker Street! Home of Holmes! So I got off at that station and...

Found the Sherlock Holmes house and museum!!! (this was the museum. The home was beside it but there was a strange looking officer in front of it so I picked the museum.)

After many days of wandering London, shocked about being so alone, I decided that I actually wanted to do something so I visted a couple of thing I had really wanted to see. First off: Natural History Museum... My VERY first Dinosaur bones! So Cool!!!!! YAY!

You can see me in the glass! But look! A mammoth head! Yay! Added bonus!!!

Classic!

Introductionary phases...

2008-09-04T11:39:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Katie’s blog! ( afterthought: These first two blogs are not to be eloquent, they are more like "catch up" blogs. So read and learn, and then at a later date you can read and enjoy because I realized too late to prevent that this is rambling.) At the moment of writing I am sitting on a bus in London, headed for Oxford. I’ve been in Europe since August 10, almost a month, and have been on my own since last Saturday August 30th. (Alost a week.) The day after mom, Jenna and Becula flew home to Canada already seemed like I had been on my own for weeks and weeks.
I started giving email updates near the beginning of my trip, but a combination of expensive and limited internet access and just having jam-packed days with no time to keep up with writing a point form list of what we did, let alone have time for any sort of description! But suffice it to say that we did everything touristy and classic. I’ll put up the monumental photos, like Eiffel Tower and such so you guys can see what we did! But it was such a flurry of fun and joy and adventure and difficulty and learning and exhaustion and ecstasy and enjoyment and tears (whenever we thought about leaving each other at the end of the trip)… it was a full trip. Everything you could imagine going right or wrong a trip happened. I’m going to try and catch up with everything we did slowly, but for now I’m going to keep it current with what I’m doing tout seul right now.

First of all, this trip has been by far the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, and will likely be the most difficult thing I will ever do. I think this because everything that I have ever done has been with the support of a loving family and wonderful friends! And any major travelling I do after this will probably be to places where I have to go with someone and the challenges will be external rather than internal. But right now I am dealing with the first substantial and real lonliness that I have ever had to experience. As much as I am an independent person and so solo travel is very fulfilling, I am contradictorily a loving sort of friends and family person who loves everyone to death! For example, at home I used to hug my family so much every day that they would sometimes get annoyed with me! Now I haven’t had a hug since Saturday.
Saturday evening by myself I was staying in the same room in the same hostel in London that I had when Mom, Jenna and Becula had been there, and God gifted me with having nobody else booked into that room at all! That’s very rare, so it was nice to have that privacy the first night as I processed exactly what it is that I just did to myself. That afternoon I went to the grocery store and decided to treat myself. My hostel had a kitchen so I bought myself the stuff to make a huge plate of green curry shrimp stirfry to prove to myself that I am competent and can take care of myself. (That was the last good meal I’ve eaten since.)
I went to Hyde Park and journal led and prayed and enjoyed the beauty of it, and came back to make my curry. Unfortunately the curry was a bad idea because it made me instantly homesick, so I had to cry my curry out. I took a shower and washed my clothes and cozied up into my bed to experience my first night alone. I skyped my Dad and Sarah then prayed myself to sleep, then woke up the next morning to the first day of my lonely life. I slept in that morning because I had been up to 3am talking to them. I had already decided that on the first day alone I would go to a service at Hillsong church. I hadn’t been to church in almost a month because it’s difficult to find a protestant church in Italy and France, and also it’s just hard to go when you’re so busy every day. So very excited I went to the 12:45 service, found my way there on the tube, and arrived in the most pathetic state I have every been in in my whole life. The greeters at the door smiled and welcomed me and I was so grateful that I wanted to throw my arms around them! One guy said hi to me and added a friendly pat on the back! I was so happy that I almost burst into tears! No seriously, I had to hold them back, I’m not exaggerating! It felt so good to be able to worship God with so many other believers again, it was great! There was a guest speaker (not that I would have known the difference) whose message was very powerful to me. He spoke of the importance of honouring and valuing other people (everyone, not just those we want to suck up to or who are like war heroes or something.) It was wonderful so I decided to come back again for the 5 o’clock service. By that evening I had already written 21 pages in my journal (versus the two that I had written in the weeks prior.)
So I’ve been skyping my family every day so I’m not totally isolated and can feel very good about that, and I’ve met some wonderful people, some that God provided for me so that I could process stuff better, and some just because I was craving conversation.
On Monday I had gotten over an antisocial sort of mood that had plagued me on Saturday and Sunday (antisocial being here defined as not talking to anyone because if anyone extended friendship to me I would burst into tears), and I was ready to interact with humans again. (Ready being here defined as desperation.)
I also realized that I couldn’t really afford the dorm that I was in, nor was I really thrilled with the neighourhood I was in. (The neighbourhood whereas completely drunk men were rampant by 9pm.)
So I moved into an 18 bed dorm room in a hostel near Hyde Park in a lovely neighbourhood where I could be out as late as I wanted to be safely. I was very happy with this dorm because it was only 8GBP per night, but I didn’t realize that it was a co ed dorm!!!! Ah! So I had 2 options: get over it, or pay more for a different hostel where they separated genders. I chose to get over it, especially as I met the people in my dorm. They were all really nice, and not weird or creepy at all. One guy was interesting. He was an American who was born in Turkey, adopted by American soldiers, raised in America then joined the army himself, was stationed in Korea for a year and was now going to University back in Wisconsin. Cool stories.
Even so, I didn’t sleep well that night, but getting up in the morning I looked at what I had been doing for the last couple of days: basically surviving. Then I looked at where I was: London, England. So I decided to actually do something with my day!
I had a nice prayer time and Bible study after breakfast so I had something to consider as I went through my day, but I did the stuff I had wanted to do up until then but didn’t do because I was too busy being lonely. I did all the stuff! That was yesterday, and it was awesome! I went to the Natural History museum and saw dinosaur bones! I’ve always always always wanted to see dinosaur bones! Then I went to the Winston Churchill museum and explored his secret undeground wartime bunker from where he directed the Second World War! IT WAS SO AWESOME!!! And I got to learn ALLL about Churchill, who is my hero, so that was wonderful! But a thought struck me as I was going through the museum. There was a display that said that if Churchill (who, if you don’t know was the PM of England during WW2, and whose strong leadership is pretty much the reason we’re not all Nazis right now), had died some years earlier than he did, he would have probably been known as a big failure. I’ve heard that kind of a thing so many times before with other amazing people who have shone throughout history, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Joab, Joseph, Nelson Mandela, all failed and failed. They weren’t these incredibly perfect people who everyone loved and knew would do well in life or believed in, and they didn’t just fly their ways to the top. They struggled and struggled and were beaten down and held back, but even so they found it somewhere to do what they believed in and thee world benefited because of it. But I can so easily imagine any of these people we just giving up and going home to try and lead a nicer, more comfortable life, and who would have blamed them? But for some weird reason they just clung to what they believed in, and so America doesn’t have slavery anymore, the Nazi regime no longer has any power, Egypt didn’t die, we have technologically advanced in so many ways, South Africa has found some peace, and we all have inspirational people to look up to an learn from! So many times struggles are taken as signs that you’re doing the wrong thing, or maybe we just don’t know how to deal with them because we live in a comfortable society, but it’s common wisdom that struggles can be overcome and once they are overcome we are steps closer to achieving something. Everyone can achieve things. We just have to get over the lie that we’re ordinary. Just because we’re living ordinary lives or are there are obstacles to us living extraordinarily does not make us ordinary people I have pretty inspired by that. I think my obstacle to an extraordinary goal right now is that I don’t know what it is. Hopefully this trip can help my uncover my goals and passions. That’s my prayer every day.
Speaking of prayer, thank everyone so much who has been praying for me! God has been blessing me non-stop and providing me with exactly what I need!
My bus ride is almost over, so just quickly, I also went to see Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre and got a picture with it, which is something I really wanted to do so I am really thankful I got to do that! There wasn’t a Shakespeare play playing that night so I got a season programme so hopefully if I’m ever back in London I’ll go see a play. I plan on it, I just have no definite plans yet.
So I’m in Oxford now, I’m going to go see the world famous University and see if I can visit some lectures!
Summing up, I’m lonely but God is providing me with a lot of comfort, I miss everyone, and love you all, and thank you very much for all your prayers! They’ve been very very answered!
Love,
Katie

The beginning of my blog.

2008-08-31T03:36:00.000-07:00

Hello my dear friends, family, comrades, perhaps stalkers, frenchmen, firemen and/or racketeers. I have decided to create a blog. Why did I decide to create a blog, you may ask, (or may not depending on which party from the above list you happen to be). Well, for 2 main reasons. Firstly because it was suggested to me by someone as an excellent way to give updates and journals and pictures to my mates back home whilst I be away without damaging your inboxes, and secondly because I am just not that good at managing my email contacts.

So here I go, I hope you're all okay with this method.

I am not going to talk about the past 3 weeks of vacationing because every day about 5 pages worth of stuff happened, there were 21 days, and I really don't think either of us wants to write or read 105 pages worth of that, plus I haven't found time yet to pare it down. So as not to fall further behind I'm starting anew, and will gradually add the stories past.

So. To bring you up to speed, August 10th Rebecca Kinzie and I landed in Rome, toured Italy for a week, came back to Rome, met up with Mom and Jenna who had just flown in, toured Rome, France, and made our way up to England. We looked around London briefly, until yesterday when the three of them flew home on a 2pm flight, and I stuck around to follow God for the year...
(one week later...)